DIY Wedding Part 6: It Takes a Village and Other Closing Thoughts

Our society seems to have moved so far away from the idea of community, but a wedding can bring everyone back together in a very intentional way. Everything about a wedding should involve a community coming together to build up a new couple so that, in turn, the couple can establish their own family and give back. That is the part we often forget- the point of all the fuss is so that the bride and groom can eventually contribute to their community as well!

One way your community comes together to support you is through wedding gifts! Newsflash: You don't really deserve gifts just because you decided to get married. However, your close family and friends desire to give you what you need to build your little nest. That new crock-pot from your Aunt June? That is for you to use one day when you are making a meal for a new mom. Those cute bathroom towels with your new monogram? Those are for the hands of every person you will welcome into your home for Thanksgiving. The true gift is that of giving back. Of building your home. Of future hospitality.

We felt an overwhelming sense of this gift on our wedding day. Our bridal party was not just a bunch of good friends who stood on the altar and looked pretty for photos. They were our strong support system, filled with wisdom, guidance and example during the preparation for our marriage. They traveled from all over the country not only to show up on the big day, but they, along with their spouses, helped us with all of the set-up and take-down. They were putting up tents, running last-minute errands, decorating and cleaning. I will never forget that two of my bridesmaids were pregnant as they were busily getting up early and staying up late decorating our hall the day before our wedding. Your bridal party represents community.

This is why, when it came time for dessert, our bridal party left the head table to graciously serve all of our guests their cake. Ian and I served our parents. We wanted to symbolize our desire to give back after receiving so much love and help from our guests- from our community. This was one of my favorite parts of the day. It was a chance to say thank-you.

Dear brides and grooms, never forget that your wedding day is the first day of giving to your spouse for the rest of your life. It is the first day of you both, as a couple, giving to your community. Do not be afraid to let that guide your preparations and your planning. Let go of the little things and remember that we belong to one another- and your special day is a symbol of that.

I'm just going to close this long-winded wedding series with the Catholic Wedding Vows. As Catholics, we do not write our own vows, but instead we all say the same few phrases that seem to cover everything:

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and honor you all the days of my life.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and honor you all the days of my life.

After the ceremony, the bride and groom turn outward and face the congregation, going out into the community to share what they have built for the first time. And that, my friends, is what it's all about.